See-Saw…

June 13, 2010 § 2 Comments

I spend every minute with you living in the present. The true present of encountering God’s beauty with my eyes. Crafted as the final creation of an angel whose job it is to mold perfection, I close my eyes and slow the pace of life so that it may not pass but be lived slowly. I memorize your scent, instill every feature of your face deep into the back shelves of my memory, and hold tightly to the wonder of your touch. I feel alive. I feel every sensation in my body at once. I come alive with you. Heaven is right here all around us. I twirl in the ecstasy. Spinning around in circles with the happiness of it all. Adrenaline fills my body and there it comes…that Euphoric Pleasure you shoot me up with. Too much is never enough when I’m with you and the daunting part of it all is that at any moment it all threatens to be taken from me. That fear is strong. It is settled in my legs aching to convince my heart to go in survival mode and flee to save it from the broken dreams of what my mind secretly hid should you ignite it. So why live like this? See-Sawing between the feelings of ecstasy and a calm fear? I do this because I would not cheat my heart the prospect to grow with the experiences you provide. Let me live in the glory of the high and do nothing more. In your arms nothing matters. I have loved, lost, and have been dragged through the scattered pieces of my heart and still have not lived like I have with you. I am blessed by the angel who created such faultlessness in a man who has captured my heart. My soul has been injected with life’s possibilities of love. I would rather fall upon the thousand daggers of reality than be too timid to jump and live in the flight of the gift you bestow to my eternal being. Free falling knowing all ends with a tragic crash and surviving solely on the smile that I lived in every moment, that I didn’t run when fear was suffocating me, and that my heart glitters in the light you aided my soul to find.

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