My Darkness…

June 1, 2010 § 1 Comment

Darkness:

To be without light.

My darkness:

To not see what surrounds me.

Easily mistaken for confusion

But not this time

This time it’s darkness

There’s something about darkness

The way it sends chills across your skin

How the ongoing scene of black

Can make you feel so tiny

As if your world was boxing you in

Yet the feel of eternity is confirmed by your footsteps

This darkness that makes you curl in fear

Not for what you can‘t see that might be there

But what you can’t feel

 

Emptiness:

To be hollow.

My Emptiness:

To be the shell with a lost soul.

The darkness has taken my soul

Left with nothing to guide me

My soul, the navigator of life

Abducted from my inner being

S-l-o-w-l-y

Because any quicker and I would have felt it

Yet I’m in this darkness

Soulless

 

Alone:

To be isolated from others.

My Alone:

To have nothing.

Not even the company of myself is comforting

For there is nothing inside me to turn to

 

Tears:

salty droplet formed in the tear ducts and released through the eyes.

My Tears:

A reminder of why I am surrounded by darkness and left feeling empty.

They come in rounds you know

Continuous rounds with such a rush

You would think there was a waterfall

Never failing to flood my soulless being

For I doubt anyone human could be this deep

Or this lost

Or this forgotten

My tears restored my memory

Salty rivers that run over the open wounds

Causing flashes of what was and what isn’t now

 

Hero:

Someone who comes to another’s rescues.

My Hero:

I have no hero.

There is no prince on a white horse coming to my rescue

No man with a cape saving me.

think I had a hero once.

He saved me before long time ago.

And my hero fell in love with me

That’s when I had no tears to shed

And my soul was enriched with love

And darkness did not exist.

Even with my eyes closed he was right there to give me light

My fallen angel who sheltered me

He was my everything and still is

But this darkness

This emptiness

These tears

Are for and from him

My hero…He left

Without him lighting the way I lost all senses

That’s when I realized I was left desolate

It was then that I was lost in this darkness

And that’s when the tears happened

And with each round came a new memory

And my sadness at first was because my hero disappeared

And then my tears showed me why

 

Hopeless:

To be without hope.

My hopeless:

To be without love.

Love may not always fix everything

But when you have love you have the world

That pure love – that in love –that I get high off your love love

Nope……no love

If he just came back

If he just wrapped his wings around me

Just for eternity

But the real eternity

Not the one that we lost but the scientific eternity 

The one that continues when time ends

If I could just feel his breath again

The warmth of his beating heart

I would no longer have to cry

My soul would fill my void

And my emptiness would shatter

Because you can’t be alone if someone is there with you

And when my darkened accustomed eyes hurt because of the light

Even with my eyes closed

I would walk blindly to where he calls me

For I love him more than he will EVER know

But I can’t love him if my hero isn’t here

Just the sound of his voice

And maybe

Maybe

His embrace

Where I can see my limits

And everything makes sense

So I apologize

I’ve been mistaken

My darkness

Is without him.

And my world

My world is dark.


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