June 1, 2010 § 1 Comment
To be without light.
To not see what surrounds me.
Easily mistaken for confusion
But not this time
This time it’s darkness
There’s something about darkness
The way it sends chills across your skin
How the ongoing scene of black
Can make you feel so tiny
As if your world was boxing you in
Yet the feel of eternity is confirmed by your footsteps
This darkness that makes you curl in fear
Not for what you can‘t see that might be there
But what you can’t feel
To be hollow.
To be the shell with a lost soul.
The darkness has taken my soul
Left with nothing to guide me
My soul, the navigator of life
Abducted from my inner being
Because any quicker and I would have felt it
Yet I’m in this darkness
To be isolated from others.
To have nothing.
Not even the company of myself is comforting
For there is nothing inside me to turn to
A salty droplet formed in the tear ducts and released through the eyes.
A reminder of why I am surrounded by darkness and left feeling empty.
They come in rounds you know
Continuous rounds with such a rush
You would think there was a waterfall
Never failing to flood my soulless being
For I doubt anyone human could be this deep
Or this lost
Or this forgotten
My tears restored my memory
Salty rivers that run over the open wounds
Causing flashes of what was and what isn’t now
Someone who comes to another’s rescues.
I have no hero.
There is no prince on a white horse coming to my rescue
No man with a cape saving me.
I think I had a hero once.
He saved me before long time ago.
And my hero fell in love with me
That’s when I had no tears to shed
And my soul was enriched with love
And darkness did not exist.
Even with my eyes closed he was right there to give me light
My fallen angel who sheltered me
He was my everything and still is
But this darkness
Are for and from him
My hero…He left
Without him lighting the way I lost all senses
That’s when I realized I was left desolate
It was then that I was lost in this darkness
And that’s when the tears happened
And with each round came a new memory
And my sadness at first was because my hero disappeared
And then my tears showed me why
To be without hope.
To be without love.
Love may not always fix everything
But when you have love you have the world
That pure love – that in love –that I get high off your love love
If he just came back
If he just wrapped his wings around me
Just for eternity
But the real eternity
Not the one that we lost but the scientific eternity
The one that continues when time ends
If I could just feel his breath again
The warmth of his beating heart
I would no longer have to cry
My soul would fill my void
And my emptiness would shatter
Because you can’t be alone if someone is there with you
And when my darkened accustomed eyes hurt because of the light
Even with my eyes closed
I would walk blindly to where he calls me
For I love him more than he will EVER know
But I can’t love him if my hero isn’t here
Just the sound of his voice
Where I can see my limits
And everything makes sense
So I apologize
I’ve been mistaken
Is without him.
And my world
My world is dark.